MichelleAnne Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
most everyone's thoughts
> on Darcy's morality are directly tied personal
> beliefs about intimacy before marriage. People
> who belief such intimacy before marriage is
> acceptable cannot believe that Darcy (or any
> modern man) could "survive" to the age of 28 as a
> virgin--because they probably don't associate
> with/know of anyone who has. Like you, I know
> many men (and women) who waited or are waiting
> until marriage.
I personally do not believe that intimacy before marriage is acceptable. But my view of Darcy having been largely celibate but not necessarily a virgin before marriage is based on my understanding of that era -- the double standards for men and women, and the attitude of rich, upper class men, the way they had been brought up, the opportunities given to them -- especially to men in Darcy's position. As Anne Bronte said in her novel The Tenant of Wildfell Hall -- "our sons are expected to learn by experience alone, while our daughters may not even benefit from the experience of others". Anthony Trollope in his novels said that while men wanted the girls they marry to be inexperienced, girls preferred men with experience! (These writings must have reflected the norms and prejudices of that time -- it seems to have been implied that men were expected to guide their virgin brides, and that an ignorant, completely inexperienced man was regarded as a wimp, unless if he was a clergyman, then he should be a virgin before marriage, because clergymen were not supposed to be like other men).
-------------------------------------------------------
most everyone's thoughts
> on Darcy's morality are directly tied personal
> beliefs about intimacy before marriage. People
> who belief such intimacy before marriage is
> acceptable cannot believe that Darcy (or any
> modern man) could "survive" to the age of 28 as a
> virgin--because they probably don't associate
> with/know of anyone who has. Like you, I know
> many men (and women) who waited or are waiting
> until marriage.
I personally do not believe that intimacy before marriage is acceptable. But my view of Darcy having been largely celibate but not necessarily a virgin before marriage is based on my understanding of that era -- the double standards for men and women, and the attitude of rich, upper class men, the way they had been brought up, the opportunities given to them -- especially to men in Darcy's position. As Anne Bronte said in her novel The Tenant of Wildfell Hall -- "our sons are expected to learn by experience alone, while our daughters may not even benefit from the experience of others". Anthony Trollope in his novels said that while men wanted the girls they marry to be inexperienced, girls preferred men with experience! (These writings must have reflected the norms and prejudices of that time -- it seems to have been implied that men were expected to guide their virgin brides, and that an ignorant, completely inexperienced man was regarded as a wimp, unless if he was a clergyman, then he should be a virgin before marriage, because clergymen were not supposed to be like other men).