The very sentence Suzanne quoted was what I objected to in my previous post. It's true that Darcy didn't know any good of Elizabeth, but to put it as JA, "Nobody thinks of that, when they fall in love". Moreover, I wanted to point out that while you may think she had a "snappy wit", Darcy considered it a sign of interest.
You also said that Elizabeth ignored him. I can't agree with that opinion, first because she was never indifferent to him and always sought (perhaps unconsciously) his conversation, and secondly because it was the other way round: it was Darcy who tried to avoid Elizabeth. In addition, they always discussed topics of some depth, very different from the traditional polite conversation (weather, conditions of roads, family/friends' well-being). They debated about what makes a woman accomplished, the role of humility in a person, the strength of one's determination against the persuasion of others, flaws and virtues of character... In many ways, they knew each other better than Jane and Bingley, who, as Elizabeth tells Charlotte, could only know their respective preferences about card games and food (although we can't know for sure what they did talk about). My point is, given the topics of their conversations and the way they tended to exclude the others from them, Darcy could think Elizabeth was interested in him, otherwise she would have ignored him all the time.
As to your question, if I would encourage a loved one to pursue a such a girl, I would probably caution him not to be hasty, and adivise him to take time to know her better. However, we need to remember that Darcy and his party don't know Elizabeth's disposition nor her witty manners. To someone who didn't know her, she could seem flirty instead of witty (just like Jane could seem disinterested instead of falling in love). Back to your example, if I knew the girl and could gather from her behaviour that she probably didn't care for my, say, brother, I'd honestly tell him what I think. But then, he could very well disregard my words and try to court her anyway. If, however, I didn't know this girl, how could I tell if she were being flirty, sarcastic, accusing or approving? I could hazard a guess, based on how a woman generally behaves, but I couldn't be sure to be right.
I lived such a situation when a friend of mine fell in love with a guy who seemed not to care about her. I told her that I thought him indifferent but, since I didn't really know him, I could be wrong. It turned out he was merely shy around new acquaintances, even more so with my friend, who is an extroverted, lively, sparkly woman. How was I to know?! The same applies to Darcy: if Bingley had been less caught up in his own romance, would he have told his friend that Elizabeth was snappy instead of witty? Would Colonel Fitzwilliam have done this cautioning? I don't think so, simply because none of them knew her well enough.
You also said you couldn't like a man who goes to such length to please a woman who stomped over his heart. Well, Darcy is in love, and love isn't always reasonable. He rescues Lydia because he can't bear Elizabeth's pain (questionable, but not entirely impossible). Moreover, he recognises the truth of Elizabeth's reproofs ("I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit"), meaning that he is aware of his faults and seeks to correct them. Is it so unlikely that he should strive to please "a woman worthy of being pleased"? If the person you love thought badly of you for the wrong reasons, wouldn't you try to set her/him right? I would, and I'd probably hope that the information could change a man's opinion of me, perhaps even to the point of being friendly to each other. But this could very well be a woman's weakness, while a man would act differently.
You also said that Elizabeth ignored him. I can't agree with that opinion, first because she was never indifferent to him and always sought (perhaps unconsciously) his conversation, and secondly because it was the other way round: it was Darcy who tried to avoid Elizabeth. In addition, they always discussed topics of some depth, very different from the traditional polite conversation (weather, conditions of roads, family/friends' well-being). They debated about what makes a woman accomplished, the role of humility in a person, the strength of one's determination against the persuasion of others, flaws and virtues of character... In many ways, they knew each other better than Jane and Bingley, who, as Elizabeth tells Charlotte, could only know their respective preferences about card games and food (although we can't know for sure what they did talk about). My point is, given the topics of their conversations and the way they tended to exclude the others from them, Darcy could think Elizabeth was interested in him, otherwise she would have ignored him all the time.
As to your question, if I would encourage a loved one to pursue a such a girl, I would probably caution him not to be hasty, and adivise him to take time to know her better. However, we need to remember that Darcy and his party don't know Elizabeth's disposition nor her witty manners. To someone who didn't know her, she could seem flirty instead of witty (just like Jane could seem disinterested instead of falling in love). Back to your example, if I knew the girl and could gather from her behaviour that she probably didn't care for my, say, brother, I'd honestly tell him what I think. But then, he could very well disregard my words and try to court her anyway. If, however, I didn't know this girl, how could I tell if she were being flirty, sarcastic, accusing or approving? I could hazard a guess, based on how a woman generally behaves, but I couldn't be sure to be right.
I lived such a situation when a friend of mine fell in love with a guy who seemed not to care about her. I told her that I thought him indifferent but, since I didn't really know him, I could be wrong. It turned out he was merely shy around new acquaintances, even more so with my friend, who is an extroverted, lively, sparkly woman. How was I to know?! The same applies to Darcy: if Bingley had been less caught up in his own romance, would he have told his friend that Elizabeth was snappy instead of witty? Would Colonel Fitzwilliam have done this cautioning? I don't think so, simply because none of them knew her well enough.
You also said you couldn't like a man who goes to such length to please a woman who stomped over his heart. Well, Darcy is in love, and love isn't always reasonable. He rescues Lydia because he can't bear Elizabeth's pain (questionable, but not entirely impossible). Moreover, he recognises the truth of Elizabeth's reproofs ("I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit"), meaning that he is aware of his faults and seeks to correct them. Is it so unlikely that he should strive to please "a woman worthy of being pleased"? If the person you love thought badly of you for the wrong reasons, wouldn't you try to set her/him right? I would, and I'd probably hope that the information could change a man's opinion of me, perhaps even to the point of being friendly to each other. But this could very well be a woman's weakness, while a man would act differently.