I think it's very obvious in your story, even more so than the original, that Darcy's primary motive is really to get himself away from Elizabeth Bennet. It's interesting, because while at Netherfield he was essentially a captive audience who had to go where his host went, in London there was nothing compelling him to go alone on all those walks and rides and other events. Surely he's not the only friend Bingley has. He's not required to ride with him every morning out of friendship. One can only suppose that he found the temptation of seeing Elizabeth too strong to refuse, and so now he's trying to remove that source of temptation. Poor guy, he must be really addled by her by now, seeing as she's even sharper than in canon. As for Bingley, I know he genuinely wants his happiness, and he didn't make anything up or consciously lie--it's just that he's not as objective an observer as he pretends to be.
So as not to clutter up the message board, I'll add another comment I had after this last section here. It's that I think your version of the proposal is going to be interesting. There's no Wickham (for which I cannot thank you enough), and Jane and Bingley are now engaged. Elizabeth will undoubtedly get angry if she finds out he's the reason Bingley bailed for that time, but that anger couldn't possibly carry the same force as when Jane was still heartbroken, without any prospect for the future. Therefore her refusal is going to come down to "I don't like you." That will give Darcy a shock I know--I suppose when he said she wouldn't refuse an entree into polite society he was thinking of himself. By the way, how rude was that, to tell her that she isn't a part of polite society now, that she hasn't yet gotten that entree?
As you can see, I'm very much enjoying your story, and all the well-thought-out changes (and non-changes) of this scenario. Can't wait to see what you have next!
So as not to clutter up the message board, I'll add another comment I had after this last section here. It's that I think your version of the proposal is going to be interesting. There's no Wickham (for which I cannot thank you enough), and Jane and Bingley are now engaged. Elizabeth will undoubtedly get angry if she finds out he's the reason Bingley bailed for that time, but that anger couldn't possibly carry the same force as when Jane was still heartbroken, without any prospect for the future. Therefore her refusal is going to come down to "I don't like you." That will give Darcy a shock I know--I suppose when he said she wouldn't refuse an entree into polite society he was thinking of himself. By the way, how rude was that, to tell her that she isn't a part of polite society now, that she hasn't yet gotten that entree?
As you can see, I'm very much enjoying your story, and all the well-thought-out changes (and non-changes) of this scenario. Can't wait to see what you have next!