Lizzy,
Re your comment:
> For what it's worth, Edmund makes basically the
> same point to Fanny earlier in the book, when he
> says that Henry could not make Mr. Rushworth
> unhappy if Maria didn't let him. Miss Manners is
> constantly pointing out that there's a natural
> tendency for the aggrieved party to blame the
> interloper (whom they wouldn't care about
> otherwise) rather than the spouse (whom they do
> love and care about) but it doesn't really make
> logical sense.
Miss Manners will be the first to tell you, though, that there is a difference between manners and morality. They're not mutually exclusive, of course, but neither are they synonymous. One can be well-mannered yet excruciatingly polite, and one can be ill-mannered, but fundamentally moral and ethical.
Edmund's comment could be turned around. Maria could not make Mr. Rushworth unhappy without Henry, who knows she's a married woman, beguiling her into the illicit activity to begin with.
I'll leave the question of which one was the more ill-mannered to Judith Martin, but, morally, I still think they share equal guilt.
JIM
Re your comment:
> For what it's worth, Edmund makes basically the
> same point to Fanny earlier in the book, when he
> says that Henry could not make Mr. Rushworth
> unhappy if Maria didn't let him. Miss Manners is
> constantly pointing out that there's a natural
> tendency for the aggrieved party to blame the
> interloper (whom they wouldn't care about
> otherwise) rather than the spouse (whom they do
> love and care about) but it doesn't really make
> logical sense.
Miss Manners will be the first to tell you, though, that there is a difference between manners and morality. They're not mutually exclusive, of course, but neither are they synonymous. One can be well-mannered yet excruciatingly polite, and one can be ill-mannered, but fundamentally moral and ethical.
Edmund's comment could be turned around. Maria could not make Mr. Rushworth unhappy without Henry, who knows she's a married woman, beguiling her into the illicit activity to begin with.
I'll leave the question of which one was the more ill-mannered to Judith Martin, but, morally, I still think they share equal guilt.
JIM